Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Neuro What?!

The answer to the biggest question of the day this past Labor Day was, “Why, yes. Yes we are having classes today.”  Pleasantly, The Boss took the lead with The Girl, which freed me to work on the basement floor.  We’re replacing nasty old carpeting with tile.  I did make time to sit at the table to work with her on Language Arts. We’re reviewing third grade material by completing some tests that I saved from last year before starting a new fourth grade program. That led to this exchange yesterday morning: 

“Ada, what part of speech is the word “house?”

“Um…” she replied, hand on her chin. Her patented “That’s a good question!” was forming on her lips.

“It begins with an “N,” I said, starting to write the word “noun” on our dry erase table.

“Neuroplasticity!” she shouted.

That’s right, gentle readers!  My ten-year-old daughter doesn’t remember the word “noun” but she does know how to correctly pronounce “neuroplasticity!”  

This could be an interesting year.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Homeschooled Boy Suspended for Making a Weapon in School

(APE) Flintlock, Kansas

A ten-year-old homeschooled boy was expelled from classes on Tuesday after biting his breakfast pastry into the shape of a surface-to-air missile launcher, and authorities don’t know what to do with him.

Hezekiah Ezekiel Jeremiah Smith was expelled by his mother after biting his Pop Tarts into the shape of the popular FIM-92 Stinger Man-Portable Air-Defense System (MANPADS).

When his mother saw what he had done, Hezekiah said she got pretty mad.  “She told me, ‘just wait until your father gets home!’ I knew then I was in big trouble.”

“I went through 17 boxes of Raspberry Pop-tarts to put together that missile launcher,” Hezekiah explained.  “It took three boxes just to get the safety switch to work.  The smaller the part, the harder it is to bite it into the proper shape.”

“It kinda made me sick to my stomach,” he added.  “Near the end I was feeding my mistakes to the dog. I don’t think either one of us will be eating breakfast pastries for a long time.”

The NRA immediately responded to the suspension by offering Hezekiah a lifetime membership and a case of Tums.

The homeschool’s public relations spokesperson, fourteen year old college freshman Abigail Bathsheba Jedidah Smith, confirmed that her younger brother was expelled from home studies.  “He has the option of reapplying for admission at the start of the next school year,” said Ms. Smith.

 “That child!” his mother exclaimed, shaking her head. “I have half a mind to send him to military school, but I don’t want to encourage him.”

The problem, according to local school authorities, is that no one knows what to do with Hezekiah.  Dr. Julius No, superintendent of schools in Flintlock, refuses to accept Hezekiah into the local elementary school.  “I will not allow him to enroll in our school,” explained Dr. No.  “That young man is a threat to the safety of every child in our district.”

“Just imagine what would have happened if that missile accidentally launched in our school cafeteria,” Dr. No continued. “It could have hit another student.  Children might have gotten red sprinkles in their eyes.  Students could have gotten raspberry filling stains on their shirts. I cannot jeopardize the safety of our children by allowing Hezekiah Smith to attend one of our schools.” 

The boy's father, Bob, thought the incident was ridiculous. “This is insanity. With all the potential issues faced by homeschools today, threats from bullies,  whatever the real issue is, it's a pastry, ya know?' he said.

For the time being, Hezekiah is spending his days on the family’s patio, reading books, and creating a life-sized replica of the Easter Island statues out of Spam.

“It’s okay,” Hezekiah explained. “I’m ten years old and a high school sophomore.  I can afford to take some time off.”

Monday, May 6, 2013

All In A Day's Work at Home Educating Family

Ever wonder how to decide on which parent stays at home to teach the kids and which parent goes to work?   I shared some of the questions we used to make that very decision in my monthly blog post "All in a Day's Work" at Home Educating Family

Saturday, April 27, 2013

A Short Homeschool Production of Henry IV Part I

From November of 2012 through early March of this year, I taught Shakespeare's Richard II, Henry IV Parts 1 & 2, and Henry V to my sixteen-year-old son Noah and another homeschooler, Nathan.  At the end of Henry V, I gave the boys their choice of one of three final projects: writing an essay, taking a written test, or staging a scene from one of the plays.  They chose the latter, and below is their effort.  Please invest ten minutes and look at their work.  Enlisting the aid of their brothers and sisters, and with no help from any adults (except for taxi service to the set), these boys planned, choreographed, filmed, and edited the final battle from Henry IV Part I.   I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am with their work.  It is a pleasure to see two high school students enjoy Shakespeare this much!  Direct your comments to Noah and Nathan, please.  This is all their work.  


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

This Is NOT How You Measure Electricity

So, I walked in the door and The Boss stared at me.  "Did you get my text?" she asked.

That's a moment for a gulp. 

"No.  I leave my phone in the car when I'm in karate, " I explained, wondering whether or not I was in trouble. "What's up?"

"Just check your texts," she told me.

I grabbed my phone, opened the text, and saw this

Yikes!  That's my kitchen!  That's one of my wall sockets.  It's the socket where my radio is plugged in.  Then I saw the second picture...

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she replied.  "Your Bears tape measure, however, is not."

Leave it to the Packers fan to ground my Bears tape measure while measuring the kitchen.  Apparently, she lost control of the tape measure, and it slid onto the plug for our printer.

The teenager saw the large flash of light and came running.  Instinctively, the Boy Scout grabbed his phone and took a picture.  Glad to see his priorities are straight.

Half the outlets in our kitchen were dead, as was a radio and our microwave.  Luckily, they all survived.  I flipped the breaker back to "on" and everything came back to life.  All I had to do was reset the time on the microwave and the radio, and all of my presets.

And the Boss is alright.  Amused, but alright.